Sunday, August 23, 2009

That doesn't make any sense! #5

Ben and I go to Target a lot. They sell everything there. Well, everything except cornflakes. I have NO IDEA why they don't sell cornflakes, but I shouldn't get started on how much that irritates me.

When they built the Super Target (the "Super" means they have a full grocery section, I'm not just saying it's super) they also built a lot of retail space nearby in case you ever wanted to go to a store that was not Target. Mostly we only go to the Liquor store (because in MN you can't buy your booze in Target, or after 9pm, or on Sundays... again, I shouldn't start on how inconvenient this is ;-)

Anyway, there is a point to this story. Every time we go we pass Famous Footwear. We've been in once, a year ago or so, when they first opened, and Ben bought some shoes, but then returned then because they were lumpy.

Recently when we passed, we saw this sign hanging outside the store...


Huh? What in the world is a "RE Grand Opening"? I know it's not actually meant to say "Grand Re Opening" because they've only been open for a year, and they didn't take a break from being open recently... so I have to assume the sign has been printed correctly.

Did they decide the first grand opening just wasn't Grand enough? They've been feeling like failures for the last year because there weren't enough balloons, or they didn't have a famous-enough celebrity cutting the ribbon, and had to have another go at it? It just doesn't make any sense! And they have not one, but two of these banners, on different sides of the building, so everyone knows about it!

I'm confused. I seriously doubt anyone will pass by and say to themselves "oh, I must stop in to Famous Footwear, they're Re-Granding their Opening". I'm not even sure that sentence is actually English... the whole thing strongly reminds me of those 'missed translation' signs you see in other countries...


(I found this sign here. Check out the rest, they're hilarious!)

In other non-signage related news, Ben and I officially drink too much wine. For the first time ever, we actually used our bottle opener so much that the metal wore out, and it fell apart...


And yes, it was one solid piece of metal, it wasn't glued together or anything. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether this is something to be proud, or ashamed of. All I know is that we need a new bottle opener. But it's ok, they sell them at Target.


6 comments:

Cathy said...

I checked the Super Target that I used to work at and they sell Corn Flakes...I checked because I was so intrigued by your observation. So if you need Corn Flakes...come down here I guess. As for Famous Footwear, I am so excited about the store's re-event I am jumping in the car now to get a new pair of shoes :)

John said...

Haha, i should not have started reading these. You are a humerous lady :)

As for the bottle opener. Not only is that the first time that has happened to you, but you are the ONLY person i know to whom that has happened... So be very very proud. Contact the Guiness book of records, or something.

david said...

I am going to guess that "John" is none other then John of aberdeen, going entirely of his method of speech.
As for "Re Grand opening" I am going ot guess that it is going with the email language od "Regards to" (or whatever) and when you go in the just ask you many questions about he grand opening.
(my caption word was "echeadie"m I remember when they were three letters and a number)

Lori said...

Life doesn't make sense to me. I love that you can pick SUPER confusing things out and then attempt to solve the mystery.

Louise said...

Hi Cathy! We're totally stocking up on cornflakes next time we visit you... but it makes me sad that the Target gods don't think we deserve cornflakes in our store...

Hi John - Thanks! And I am on hold with them right now. Fame and Fortune, here I come!

Hello David! I love your interpretation "Re: Grand Opening". It's not total nonsense, it just needs some more punctuation!

Hi Lori! I hope my attempts to make sense from life are helping you. I'm thinking of starting a 'people confused by life' support group...

david said...

I would have put a colon in but my ":" key is broken